Looking to Long
I am not myself today
 today I知 someone else
 today I have no hope
 no sprit
 my confidence has left me
 maybe I looked in the mirror a little to long
 and a little to hard
 it痴 hard for me to look in mirrors now
I just dont want to
because I see me
 I see myself
all I can see now is a sad
 hopeless
 pathetic person
 I am not pretty
 like some people say I am
 I知 not intelligent
   like I try so hard to be
 I have no life
 I am nobody
but no one will tell me the truth
they all lie to me
 they all made me think I was something
 but I知 not
I am no one
I am a sickening excuse for a human being
 I am greedy and selfish
 I am a bitch
 a loud, angry, bitch
 I am pathetic
 and nothing makes me happy
I知 not who I used to be
 I used to care
 care about people
care about myself
and for a minute
I was happy
 for one small fraction of my life
 I was happy
because they had lied to me
 for a second
 I thought I might be beautiful
but I was blind
 but for that one minute
 I was beautiful
 because I believed it
      but my moment is gone
the lies are gone
 no one even bothers anymore
 the lies have stopped
why did I have to be so blind
then I would have never crashed
  I was on a self-high
 I almost had confidence
but quickly
I知 coming down
  falling so fast
it hurts
 I want to go back
 back to my intoxicating feeling
I want to again be able to look in the mirror
and smile
but I cant now
 I just cant
More Pain?